Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Plan B


You're probably wondering why I have a picture of Vitamin Water on my blog today, right? First of all, it's so yummy and my new favorite drink. Seriously good!

And, I've decided that if this writing a novel thing doesn't pan out that I would be completely satisfied (okay, now that's a lie) to be a writer for Vitamin Water.

Now you're probably thinking, "call the psycho ward, Kim's gone crazy... again." You are, aren't you?

Well, before you call, hear me out. Have you ever read the side of one of these yummy drinks? Hmm?? (Yes, I have nothing to do all day, except read the sides of my water bottles. Hush!)

Let me share with you what a few of them say. They are sooooo funny!! Haha.

VitaminWater Zero - Grape-Raspberry flavor (YUMO!!)



You gotta admit, there's nothing like people watching at the gym. You got the women in the neon pink unitard over spandex bike shorts (1986 called), the guy checking himself out in the mirror (we see you), and our favorite, the "let's do this!!!" trainer (chill. It's 6AM). If that scene's not for you, but you want to help support your immune system, crack open this bottle. So hey there Mr. "I'm just going to walk around and watch TV," good thinking. No need to pay for the gym and cable.

VitaminWater Zero - Lemonade



C'mon, is that a purse... or a suitcase? Let's see what you're squeezing in there. Looky here, a gift card (with 89 cents left), three different hand creams (melon, cucumber, cucumber-melon), lip balm, lip stick, and lip gloss--oh what's this? Ahhh the good ol' giant wad of receipts. (Plan to return the shirt your wearing?) Well, your bags have inspired us. We squeezed as much good stuff as we could into this bottle. And since it's naturally sweetened and zero calories, feel free to squeeze a couple of bottles into your purse... or "man-bag" (we're not judging).

Vitamin Water Zero - Blueberry Pomegranate



Ever notice that XXX has a bit of a reputation? On a game show, it's a let down to the whole family, in the video store it's the section you "accidentally" wandered into, and in a marriage, one X can be expensive, but three?! That's why we're cleaning up XXX's reputation. The survey says drink up, switch to a healthier (and less scandalous) XXX, and who knows, maybe the fourth time's a charm.

Funny, right?! (I'm really lame, so humor me.) So, like I said, if this writing a novel thing doesn't pan out, then my "official" plan B is to become the funniest Vitamin Water bottle writer EVER!!

I dream big!! Haha. :)

Have a happy Wednesday, everyone!!!

37 comments:

  1. Too funny. Now I'm curious to try vitamin water.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Eww I hate Vitamin Water.
    Funny stuff though, and that's the funniest career I've ever heard!
    "Mommy, I wanna be a vitamin water writer when I grow up!"
    "Okay Timmy, sure."
    Haha.
    xx,
    ~Abby~

    ReplyDelete
  3. GO for it girl!!! Be the vitamin water writer if the other writer thing doesn't work! At least you're thinking ahead! I think I might need to try this water!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh the endless possibilities of working with words. Someone definitely has a fun job here :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the blurbs on the side, but I prefer Fuze...that has the right balance of flavor/water for me. But Fuze doesn't have any cute verbiage on the side.

    I so wish I had written those.

    ReplyDelete
  6. :) Amused, definitely amused. Vitamin water writer? Go for your dreams! :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. Haha, go vitamin water writers! That sounds like a pretty good back up plan ;~)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hehe, well, I'm a copywriter and I can tell you that it's a little overrated... That said, I love when companies and packaging make good use of their romance copy like this!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Cute! I could totally see you doing it. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Kim! Those are so funny. It put a smile on my otherwise-blah-Wednesday face. :)

    Have you ever read the back of a Newman's Own salad dressing bottle? Those are funny, too, and super strange. I remember one of them had a little story of a man and woman riding in a hot air balloon and at one point the man "slapped her on her fanny"! They're very entertaining. I highly recommend going to the store and reading all the bottles. People will think you're looking at the nutritional contents. *lol*

    ReplyDelete
  11. I must say that I am not the biggest fan of Vitamin Water, but I might pick some up now just to read the side! It's hilarious.

    I say go for it!

    ReplyDelete
  12. First of all - try not to fall out of your chair as I come out of blogger hibernation...LOL.

    Secondly - you are cracking me up. You're not allowed to stop writing novels so I'm thinking you'll have to do both. Sound good?

    AND now I must go buy a vitamin water and read the side. Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hahaha, I don't drink vitamin water but I have read the sides of them per someone else's recommendation! They're so funny!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I really hope the book thing works out for you.... it would be really sad to be the vitamin water writer.

    ReplyDelete
  15. LOL, I would totally write for them! That is hilarious, I had no idea that was on the bottles. Now I must buy them.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My coworkers shared one of these the other day and I cracked up! I love when corporate type companies can crack up and have a little fun like that. Thanks for the share!

    ReplyDelete
  17. HILARIOUS! And you could TOTALLY write those!!!

    LOVE the Poison Ivy cover girl!! LOVE!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'll support whatever goofball idea you come up with! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Dream big Kim, that's awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Those are hysterical! Sounds like a fun job ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Everyone - I would respond to each one of you, but it would probably just be a bunch of "haha's and LOLs." ;)

    I'm so glad you guys enjoy my sense of humor. LOL. Thanks, everyone, for reading my crazy posts!! You guys rock!!


    Gina - I'll be sure to check out that dressing the next time I'm in the store!!

    Michelle - No, sadly, I didn't write those. They came directly off the Vitamin Water bottles.

    Also, Smart Water has funny bottles too!! It seems like I'm obsessed with water bottles, huh? Haha. I promise, I'm really not. :)

    Have a great day, everyone!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Now that's an awesome plan B job! Wish I would have thought of it:)

    Ya know, I've never tried Vitamin Water - now I'll have to buy some just to read the labels.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I love reading those, too! They crack me up! Vitamin Water rules! But not the low cal Vitamin 10. That stinks.

    The side of those Milano cookies had a little descriptive that I found hilarious too. (although I don't think it was meant to be funny) LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  24. You rock! I think you would be perfect for this job. But no, you will not need a plan B because you are awesome :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have never ever tried Vitamin Water!
    The purse one was the funniest!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Too funny! I used to have one of those pink unitards and bike short in 1986. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Love it!!! So glad you have a plan B! (Let's stick with Plan A though, shall we?)

    ReplyDelete
  28. This reminds me of the Smart Water bottles. They're really funny, too. You should check those out if the Vitamin Water thing doesn't work out. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh,I drink vitamin water! Lol, it's really good:)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ok, so my new goal in life is to write for Vitamin Water. LOVE it. Have a great weekend Kimberly!

    ReplyDelete
  31. In your honour and in the honour of wall the Writwrs and Poets, I published an ilustration.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hahahaha! That's great. So good to have a plan B. Mine is to be either a writer for video game RPG plots ;) But your sounds like it might be a little more fun, and way funnier, than mine.

    ReplyDelete
  33. But, Kim, one of my Followers, Talli Roland, wrote travel guides before publishing books. She already had an agent/publisher in place. Actually, I think you're one shrewd cookie!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. you're thinking ahead! I think I might need to try this water!
    data entry india

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hello. Often the Internet can see links like [url=http://www.whitehutchinson.com/aboutus/]Buy cialis without prescription[/url] or [url=http://www.rc.umd.edu/bibliographies/]Buy cialis without prescription[/url]. Is it safe to buy in pharmacies such goods?

    ReplyDelete